cheeseburger depot

Hi!
That title has nothing to do with what this post is about I just felt like making that a title. Here is my question, since I have a wicked headache: When is the last time you reminded yourself to breathe?

I do this almost everyday. I'm not sure you know what a tissue culture lab smells like, but it isn't good. So the first thing I do everyday I step outside after work is take a depp breath. I love the smell outside. That breath reinvigorates my entire being. It reminds me of everything good. It releases my stress.

Do you do this? If not, try it. See if it doesn't help your day.

-Fair winds and following seas.....

I just never learn

Not much of a post tonight. Just wanted to mention a small fact that I find fascinating:
Whoever designed grocery store orginization is FUCKED!

I have been grocery shopping for roughly 8 years and every time I go in there I spend at least an hour shopping cause I have no clue where anything is. APPARENTLY, my concept of what should go where and with what is not even close to what the person who runs Jewel Osco feels should be placed together.

I feel very grown up for 2 reasons:
1) I cleaned my room....again
2) I went grocery shopping and made lunch for the next two days.

That's about all.

-Fair winds and following seas......

the impotence of life

so a short post tonight since im drunk at home.

Tonight I went to best buy. I had roughly 100 bucks in gift cards for the store. I spent about an hour looking around for something to buy. I played with the idea of buying a netbook since my personal laptop is shit. I couldn't do it. I didn't want to get had for a piece of shit. Plus I was only willing to pay about 100 dollars of my own money. So after an hour what did I buy? A nose, ear, and eyebrow trimmer....for 16 dollars.

Next stop on my list was Binnys. First off, I was far more excited to be at the liquor store than best buy. Secondly, I spent 100 dollars at Binnys. 3oz of bourban and a few beers later I'm nice and buzzed. Thank God for my 40 dollar Binnys gift card!

So what does this mean to you?

It means think long and hard about presents. If the person you are purchasing the card for doesn't 1)Own a video game system 2) Doesn't buy CDs 3)Is just generally technologically impotent, DON'T BUY THEM A BEST BUY GIFT CARD! So at this point, I have 75 dollars that I can't use. I'm thinking about selling them for 60 bucks. Any takers?

-Fair winds and following seas.....

AW DUDE........

I TOTALLY SPACED ON THE DATE!

Seriously though, for at least 60% of the day, I thought it was Wednesday. I then remembered I didn't blog last night...whoops.

Well be calm my little, pretty ones....that itchy, tremoring withdrawal feeling ends tonight.

So what do I post about today? My shitastic day at work? My awesome re-entrance into the PT world with a 5 mile run? The fact that I follow @MayorEmanuel on twitter cause his shit is both extremely funny and a great story?

No, tonight, my post is not a normal post. Tonight, I write my ode to Chuckles The Clown.
You see, Chuckles the Clown will be leaving my place of business tomorrow and it makes me sad. I'll miss seeing her giant red (fake?) nose, her big floppy shoes, that little twirl of blue hair that remains (keeping her from total baldness). I will also miss that sweet aroma of whiskey, sex, vomit , and sweat, that clings to her like Bounce to a freshly laundered shirt. I will miss her 5 o'clock shadow at 10am, her Heath Ledger Joker style applied face make up, and the fact that she makes me laugh while trying to drunk juggle and simultaneously keep from passing out while entertaining those little Chinese kids, who stare at her, wide-eyed (relatively speaking, of course) because she gave them lead paint covered SWAG that was mass produced in their home country by their relatives' children for 16 cents an hour and no bathroom breaks for 17 hours a day. I'll also miss the way the devote, no alcohol, religious types get offended when she sprays them with her flower lapel that was supposed to filled with water but instead is filled with vodka cause Chuckles forgot to switch out the liquid pouches and what the hell, she's gotta get through that 8 year old's birthday party somehow..... But I'll mostly miss the little sounds that make you aware that Chuckles the Clown has arrived, the soggy, piss filled shoe walk, the boisterous groan of another long, booze coma induced night turning to day, and last but not least, the beautiful melody of 6 empty beer cans and a few empty glass flasks hitting the ground when she opens the door of her clown car.

So here's to you Chuckles the Clown, May God bless you and may the road be full of people willing to pick up a clown hitchhiker, the alcohol tax be low, and the parents of the 4 year old too trusting to run a background check, Wherever you are........

-Fair winds and following seas......

My apologies to K-Grubes

Weep for yourself, my man,
You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep Little Lion Man,
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself,
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems
That you made in your own head

But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Didn't I, my...

Tremble for yourself, my man,
You know that you have seen this all before
Tremble Little Lion Man,
You'll never settle any of your scores
Your grace is wasted in your face,
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Now learn from your mother or else spend your days Biting your own neck

But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Didn't I, my dear?

Ahhhhh......

But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Didn't I, my dear?

I’ve got seven women on My mind, Four that wanna own me, Two that wanna stone me, One says she’s a friend of mine

The Eagles-Take it easy.

Maybe a point to be made there? I think so.

Okay, so to clear the elephant from the room, No, I didn't make any posts while in Denver. I was too drunk. Deal with it. No, I didn't make a post yesterday, despite not being in Denver, I worked til midnight, get off me.

Now, back to the point to be made:

Take it easy.
I wasn't sure what I was going to write about on my first day back, wasn't sure I could find an overarching theme to my last week. I was pondering this on my way home when the aforementioned song came on and then it hit me: Take it easy.

Backstory: I arrived in CO without much of a plan of what to try and do/see/drink. Luckily, my wonderful cousin and fantastic friend were great guides. I saw the US Mint, Federal Buildings, Hobos in downtown Denver (There are ALOT of them), a gang of 16 year old runaways that hassle tourists at the downtown mall, went to a good will, saw some awesome art at the art museum, annoyed a lesbian waitress in Boulder, got REALLY drunk, almost saw my cousin beat a professional pool player in a pool hall, saw an awesome Zepplin Cover band FROM Chicago, saw some awesome stuff written on men's room walls, tried to kill myself skiing, and talked my way into getting drunk without even spending a dime at a ski resort without my ID (People love to buy people from Chicago alcohol).

Forestory: Guess what I got photos of? Go ahead, guess. I'll give you a minute..............................................................................................................................................

Okay, I took the same amount of pictures of urinal art as I did the beautiful landscape of Colorado. Suprised? If you know me, probably not. I am a horrible photographer and most of the pictures I took were with my phone. So I will post them below and comment on each one.

IDEA: Make a book of artwork, quotes, and sexual propositions found in bathrooms throughout America. I think it would sell given all the other bullshit that's out there......



Now to the artwork:

 T Rex written on the bathroom wall at the Zepplin cover band show. Awesome drawing.

 Horizon Going into Boulder, CO. Very Chill. Notice the clouds. Most of the clouds looked as though they had been painted on.

 Horizon going to ?????, CO. Also very cool.

 This is from a poster I saw. Notice the Dr's name. HA! Must have been hell growing up being her.....

 Just an awesome Irish saying from some random bar in Boulder, CO. Makes a true statement as well.

 My personal favorite on another random bathroom wall in Denver. This person was either very wise or very drunk....or both?

Those are all the pictures I took people. I was too busy living in the moment to do much photographing. OHHHHHHHHH! Can you tie the Eagles song into this yet? Go ahead and look up the lyrics. Try and find what part ties into my point (I'll wait since I don't post up entire songs in blogs like SOME people).....................................................................................................................................

Well, I'm a standing on a corner
in Winslow Arizona
It's such a fine sight to see
It's a girl, my Lord, in a flatbed
Ford slowin' down to take a look at me
Come on, baby, don't say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is
gonna save me
We may lose and we may win though
we will never be here again
so open up, I'm climbin' in.....

Do we see the point yet? Live in the moment people!

LIVE. IN. THE. MOMENT.

If there's one thing that I have (sort of) always been able to do it is this. Now, granted, I do worry about things ten steps down the road. But I also have the ability to enjoy what I am doing that very second. Looking at a cloud, silence in a car, eye contact with someone special, whatever.

Get lost in every second that you get that WOW feeling because you may never get it again. Take my ski adventure as an example. I was HORRIBLE. BUT....each time I went down the hill (mostly yelling "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! (This is mostly what you yell when you have no real concept on how to turn, stop, or anything remotely outside of generally falling down)) I was in the moment. I was enjoying the thrill that was the moment.

So that being said, I'm not sure I have a question for you, mainly more of a request. Everytime a situation presents itself to you, live in the moment. Remember it for what its worth: A thrill, voicing your opinion, the feeling of love, peace, anger, hornyness (don't live too much in this moment or you'll get a souviner you can't throw away...), whatever it is, just take it easy and if the situation calls for it, take a chance. It might work out or you might fall flat on your face.

Either way:
"It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all."

-Fair winds and following seas.......

 

Valentines day-A day to remember a saint who did......?

Okay so not a  big valentines day fan. I either spend it alone or trying to live up to some silly expectation from whatever girl I may be dating at that time (never gonna happen, have another chocolate).

Oh yes, I PASSED my TEST! I also have been drinking a bit so forgive any typos. I was happy for 10 minutes today, then I started thinking about the next step. But that is 10 minutes more than I planned on being happy today so I'll take it.

I have not much to say, but a quote to put. It's not original, but I find it fits the occasion:
"No distance of places or lapse can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly convinced of each other's worth."

I love you all. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Life is moments, and most of them are crap, but you hold on to the good ones cause they keep you through the bullshit.

-Fair winds and following seas.......from Denver tomorrow!

Language barriers

Had a question today as I was studying for my test, so I will ask it here:

Does green always mean go?

I'm not just talking about in America,but everywhere. Does verde mean va in Italy? Does.....well that's the only other language I know, so look up "green" and "go" and tell me. Better yet, look up traffic signals for all different countries and tell me if their proceed light is always green.

By the way, did you know that Caribou coffee is NOT the place for peace and quiet when you are trying to study? Nope, it is the place for some asshole to pound something with a hammer (I have no idea what he could have been hammering, but it really didn't wanna go in, whatever it was (double parentheses for a possibly funny text via sexual innuendo if you applied the female gender to "it," "Bill, I tell ya, I was hammerin' her as hard as I could, but I just couldn't get it in there!")), some rich lady to cackle at very loud decibels, for an espresso machine to make as much noise as a jet engine, but not the place for quiet.

Any who, I guess I'm officially on vacation, but I still woke up at 7am and I still have work/taxes to do tomorrow/Monday.

Here's another quote, cause my brain is too floopey (fleupy? maybe in switzerland!) to come up with something to say on my own:


Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.
Chinese Proverb

-Fair wind and following seas.....

woof

Bad day at work. I fucked up majorly.....took it like a man and moved on.

Quick post cause it's late.
Had a nice run today, good to get my blood pumping again. All this studying/working is really making me hate goal oriented tasks.

So let's ask this question:
Is everything you do goal oriented? Are you always working TOWARDS (maybe away from?) something? Or have you ever just been, as a good friend puts it, "Cali chill"?


Like I said before, no Classic Man, just a nice motivational quote to get the ole heart strings tugging.

"For every nine people who denounce innovation, only one will encourage it... 

For every nine people who do things the way they have always been done, only one will ever wonder if there is a better way. 

For every nine people who stand in 

line in front of a locked door, only one will ever come around and check the back door. 

Our progress as a species rest squarely on the shoulders of that 

tenth person. 

The nine are satisfied with things they are told are valuable. 

Person 10 determines for himself what has value."

-Fair winds and following seas..... 

the mentalist

so this won't be much of a blog but here is what I learned for the day:

After a long conversation with my cat, I figured out that I need to get laid.

That's it. No Classic Man. Test date is Monday. I'm freaking out and tired.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius

-Fair winds and following seas......

I caught the bottle flu.....

And it hit me this morning.......I think I caught it from a wild turkey or three. The white castle certainly didn't help. On the plus side, I won 125 bucks on squares for the super bowl......a game I didn't watch and a squares game I forgot I was playing.

So I also set my test date for the USMC. Next Monday I will be cursing myself and my lack of brains while others are swooning over their loved ones. I don't have this problem since I don't have a loved one......more chocolate for me fuckers.

And one week from today, I will also be prepping to fly out to Denver to see one of my favorite cousins and best friends/future sugar momma(s?). More than that though, I'm excited to try running at high altitudes. I am really hoping I pass out or something fun like that so I'll have a story to tell.

I was posed the question today on why I don't call my boss more. The only real reason is that because when I do, I get a list of 15 other things that I have to do in addition to the 20 that I already have to do. Hence, the comminque is kept to a minimum.

I am struggling for Class Man today. Nothing really jumped out at me, things jumped out of me, repeatedly, but not at me. I guess for Classic Man, I will do some Classic Men. These particular men are supposedly wise, yet no interaction I've ever had with them has ever left me any smarter, just less hungry the next day.....

Photo courtesy of fotoFluke at http://www.flickr.com/photos/barleymashers/120878020/

That's all for now. I'll leave you with an inspirational quote. By the way, I still am feeling the effects of that damn turkey driven bottle flu.....must be the weather.

"A shot of desire is worth a keg of talent"

-Fair winds and following seas.....

clutch, shift, gas

So I've already asked what drives you. Now I want to know what inspires you.

But first, FUCK TRAFFIC! I sat in 3 hours of it today to get home.

Now, I've already written about what drives someone, today, we talk about what inspires someone.

Inspriration is a powerful thing and it comes from all over. Nature, movies, music..... alcohol. The point is that something is profound enough to reach in and touch you (and not in a catholic priest-confessional-altar boy kind of way). Do you remember any physics? If not, it doesn't really matter, I can still provide the example.

In physics, motion, sound, and vibration can be charted using sinusoidal curves (See image 1)

Image 1:

Taken from :http://outreach.phas.ubc.ca/phys420/p420_05/anthony/Parts%20of%20a%20wave.htm

As you can see, this curve's position changes in a repetitve function. Now, in a case, say vibration, you can have pulsation vibrations who's function of intensity can be graphed in a sinusoidal curve. Take a single vibrational function and and add a second vibrational function (another sinusoidal curve) into the mix. Both vibrations act as independent waves. BUT when the two crests of each function of vibration sync up, the collective amplitude increases.It reaches higher on the graph. This is inspiration.

As humans, with a soul (or some sense of higher thinking) our minds, lives, thoughts, actions, etc function in a wave like manner. We are up/down, happy/sad, energetic/lazy. But that thing that inspires you or in general, relates to whatever mood you're in, magnifies that amplitude of your being. You may be out for a run and that one song comes on your ipod that pumps you up. The rhythm, message, words, beat; SOMETHING about that song works to sync with your current amplitude of being and makes it even bigger. It inspires us to do better, more.

So I guess my question is: What inspires you? It can be a person, place, thing, song, saying, anything. The point is that it magnifies your life's amplitude.

I'll share some things that inspire me: Quotes.

It's a bit cheesy, but so is that slow clap at the apex of a sports movie, so I can't be the only one who likes them. I have tons of them on my computer, and I thought I'd share some with you. They aren't in any particular order. Maybe you'll like some, maybe you'll think some of the dumbest thing you've ever read and they relate to your life in absolutely no way whatsoever. But that's the point. The question was: What inspires YOU. This is something that inspires ME. Note the obvious difference.

"Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about."

"Nobody said it would be easy..they just said it would be worth it."

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself." 

"All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly. and YOU WILL TELL THEM YES"

  

"If there's just one piece of advice I can give you, it's this - when there's something you really want, fight for it, don't give up no matter how hopeless it seems. And when you've lost hope, ask yourself if 10 years from now, you're gonna wish you gave it just one more shot. Because the best things in life, they don't come free."

"History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats"
B. C. Forbes

"Tough situations can never last but tough people will live on!'

"The best things in life are beyond money; their price is agony and sweat and devotion...and the price demanded for the most precious of all things in life is life itself, the ultimate cost for perfect value."

Out of every 100 men, 10 should not be here.
80 are nothing but targets. 9 are the real fighters,
and we are lucky to have them, for they the battle make. Ah, but the ONE, ONE of them is a WARRIOR, and he will bring the others back.
BE A WARRIOR

When Phillip II (father of Alexander the great) came into Greece he sent a message to the Spartans: εάν εισάγω Λακεδαεμον επίπεδο Σπάρτα στο έδαφος! ("If I enter Lacedaemon I will level Sparta to the ground!")

The Spartans replied εάν (If).

Anyway, those are a few things that sync up with my soul. Now onto "Classic Man." 

Because today's post deals with inspiration, I feel that there is only one man who can be highlighted:

 I don't need to know explain who this is. He inspired millions. Scientists and ordinary people alike. Classic Man, he took his inspiration and ran with it. Kind of the point, isn't it?

MATH!

Hi!
Do you know me?
I'm the guy who can't get a fucking math problem right to save his life.....

So I am having a small panic attack after doing a timed run through of my flight test in the mathematical area......This seems very hopeless right now and it's becoming quite frustrating. How the hell did I do this for the ACT? And more importantly, how did I do so goddamn well?

Ah, to be the young, indoctrinated soul that I once was......

No "Classic Man." I don't get math, you don't get Classic Man. It's in your best interests to speed up this education process then.
Short, sweet, and to the point.
-Fair wind and following seas.....

Potential for a brain aneurysm : HIGH

That's it! I am done studying for the night. My head hurts and I need vodka. Nothing really happened today. I, like everyone else, was buried in snow. I hope everyone is ok. Those of you that GTFO before the storm......you are lucky!


I had a nightmare that somehow this blog got emailed to everyone in my contacts list......bad news bears! Tell your friends if you like, but not my coworkers!

A few interesting points of the day:
1)There are OTC drug tests....weird. Are they made by the same people that make the baby tests? Do you still push your girlfriend down a flight of stairs if it comes up 'YES'?

2) People were stuck in their cars for 10 hours on Lake Shore.....bet there was at lesat one fucker that thought he could make it home without getting gas. Childhood lesson: Go before you go. Even if it seems like you may not have to right then, just in case.

3)The snow storm made me wish I was back in college. Why? Cause I would have been shitfaced by noon, that's why.

4)Are my cats really friendly with each other.....or gay?

5)More on cats: Do they think the lamp they are sitting under is the sun or do they get warm from it or what's the deal with that charade?

6) Read any book by Christopher Moore, someone still has my Lamb book! Satirical Genius!

7) How can you ruin someone's day by giving them relevant information? Dumb.

Classic Man of the day: Whoever invented vodka. They fucking rule. Except if they were French.....then, they got lucky!

Now, quitchurbitchin' and get a move on.

-Fair winds and following seas.....

yeah yeah i've been slacking.....

and it will continue because:
1) I have my flight aptitude test with the USMC in 2 weeks-study study study.....after a full day of work that is
2)I am taking my long vacation to Colorado in 2 weeks to see some awesome people


With that being said, this blog will be spotty for the next 2-3 weeks and I apologize. I won't have the energy to rant and rave for paragraphs. If you want to give me topics to rant and rave about though, I'm all ears and it takes the pressure off my already over stimulated brain.

Now, onto my point to be made:

Do our lives build towards something? Think of the pyramids....all those blocks building to a single point, a symphony.....all the music playing to a crescendo, that Saturday night hookup......all that work put in to find out whether her boob are REALLY that amazing or it's just Viki's little secret.

Do you or have you ever felt the building of a moment in your own life? I realize that for some this question is hard to answer (if only we had soundtracks to our lives, we could tell so much easier!)....but just think about it. It is the exam you're studying for? The girl (or boy) your chasing romantically? The sprint at the end of a run you are on?

In my opinion (since that's pretty much all that matters anyhow....hence why I like this more than facebook) our lives are like a mountain range. There are many little peaks along the way, some bigger than others, some steeper, some even have those little trams that take you to the peak (insert trust fund babies). I think, if you're really lucky, you get a mountain range of varying sizes of peaks,  but you also get that ONE PEAK. You know the one, the all or nothing, this is the whole fucking point of dragging my ass out to the middle of Tunisia (do they have mountains there?) and surviving without TV, Comfort, Electricity, or masturbation for the last week! If you're lucky, you get the one HUGE peak, and you are smart enough to recognize what the peak is....or how high it can take you.

I would imagine that plenty of people get that huge peak and fail to look all the way up it and see where it can take them. Sure, it will be a pain in the ass, but when you lookout from the top of it, you are a fuckload higher than all those other assholes, because you made the extra effort.
That's what separates us from our peers, who was willing to climb to the top and who was satisfied just to get off the ground?

So until next time I have a spare 10 minutes, CLIMB HIGHER, I promise it's worth it!

-Fair winds and following seas.....