AW DUDE........

I TOTALLY SPACED ON THE DATE!

Seriously though, for at least 60% of the day, I thought it was Wednesday. I then remembered I didn't blog last night...whoops.

Well be calm my little, pretty ones....that itchy, tremoring withdrawal feeling ends tonight.

So what do I post about today? My shitastic day at work? My awesome re-entrance into the PT world with a 5 mile run? The fact that I follow @MayorEmanuel on twitter cause his shit is both extremely funny and a great story?

No, tonight, my post is not a normal post. Tonight, I write my ode to Chuckles The Clown.
You see, Chuckles the Clown will be leaving my place of business tomorrow and it makes me sad. I'll miss seeing her giant red (fake?) nose, her big floppy shoes, that little twirl of blue hair that remains (keeping her from total baldness). I will also miss that sweet aroma of whiskey, sex, vomit , and sweat, that clings to her like Bounce to a freshly laundered shirt. I will miss her 5 o'clock shadow at 10am, her Heath Ledger Joker style applied face make up, and the fact that she makes me laugh while trying to drunk juggle and simultaneously keep from passing out while entertaining those little Chinese kids, who stare at her, wide-eyed (relatively speaking, of course) because she gave them lead paint covered SWAG that was mass produced in their home country by their relatives' children for 16 cents an hour and no bathroom breaks for 17 hours a day. I'll also miss the way the devote, no alcohol, religious types get offended when she sprays them with her flower lapel that was supposed to filled with water but instead is filled with vodka cause Chuckles forgot to switch out the liquid pouches and what the hell, she's gotta get through that 8 year old's birthday party somehow..... But I'll mostly miss the little sounds that make you aware that Chuckles the Clown has arrived, the soggy, piss filled shoe walk, the boisterous groan of another long, booze coma induced night turning to day, and last but not least, the beautiful melody of 6 empty beer cans and a few empty glass flasks hitting the ground when she opens the door of her clown car.

So here's to you Chuckles the Clown, May God bless you and may the road be full of people willing to pick up a clown hitchhiker, the alcohol tax be low, and the parents of the 4 year old too trusting to run a background check, Wherever you are........

-Fair winds and following seas......